What Is Confidence & How To Get It?

What is confidence? Is it being able to wear whatever you want just because you can? Is it walking into an interview and believing you’ve got the job in bag? Or is it being the loudest person in the room?

Closeup portrait of woman with hands cupped under chin

Confidence means something different for everyone. As some who works with lots of people everyday I can honestly say the loudest people, most attention seeking people are (I can genuinely say) the most insecure. They dread not being liked but pretend they don’t care what anyone thinks and make a big point about doing so, they have a fear of being wrong, they think if they’re not being the loudest in the room they’re weak.

For me confidence is someone who is always relaxed and poised, they speak with patience and are comfortable in their own skin. Confidence can’t be learnt, you can’t study a book on it regardless of how many self help books you read. Real confidence comes in the form of experience good and bad. I always see good experiences in life as bonuses and bad experiences as a lesson to be learnt; the more bad experiences someone has the stronger they will become. They will be able to withstand difficult situations and better prepare themselves for the future.

Building Confidence In Children

bigstock-Five-Happy-Kids-7326483Children learn confidence through socialization and dependency. Teaching children to do things on their own and giving them small responsibilities will enable them to stand on their own 2 feet when their an adult. As a parent you also need to set an example of what confidence is. Always been consistent and following routine is the key to a childs stability and security, which in turn feeds conference.

I remember when I was growing up, if something bad happened at school or I had an accident, my father would always ask “So, what did you learn?”, at that time I thought ‘What on earth is my dad on about?’. For example if I had an argument with a friend, and my dad asked me this question, I’d smartly say “Well I learnt she’s an idiot!” (I was a little bit of a smart ass as a kid), but my father would say “No, you learnt that everyone is different and has different opinions”. I never really got what he was talking about at the time, although now his words ring in my ears and I fully understand what he was trying to get me to relize.

How Can I Build My Own Confidence?

What I’m trying to say is that, to build on confidence when your young is much easier than when you are an adult but as an adult it’s never too late, put yourself out there, don’t be scared of the unexpected, the unforeseen will take you places you never thought would be possible.

Remember these 5 Simple points

1. Bad experiences are valuable; learn from them.

2. Be open to the unexpected

3. Put yourself in safe but challenging situations

4. Believe you can do whatever you want…because you can

5. Always look on the bright side of life. It’s always easier to look at the negatives more than the  positives but don’t be lazy. If you focus on the negative your life will be gloomy, but focus on the positive life will be fun and interesting.

Please note:

Please remember I'm not a doctor of any kind and the information on this site is advisory only, you must always consult a qualified physician prior to dramatic lifestyle changes or if you have any cause for concern about your own well-being.

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